Soon they will be adults. Are they prepared for it?

   What happened to the parents of this generation of kids that made us think it was ok to raise our kids to have that sense of entitlement? They expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter and for parents to be at their beck and call. We've raised a generation of selfish brats. I don't understand this mentality. Kids today think they aren't expected to work for anything. Reality television has glorified this behavior and they expect that same treatment. Sorry but my kids are screwed then.
   I wasn't raised in a family with a lot of money. My parents worked hard to provide us with everything we needed. We always had a home, we always had food and we always had clothes. No, we didn't have designer clothes, we didn't live in a huge expensive house and we didn't eat expensively or eat out alot. But we had one thing going for us that I don't think some of those other kids had...we had the love of a family. We had family dinner every night where we were expected to eat what was put in front of us. We had help with our homework with love and attention. We each had our outside activities but never an over abundance that kept us busy every day of the week. We had down time and time to play outside with our friends. Where did this go?
   We didn't get everything on our Christmas want list, we didn't get that brand new car when we turned 16, we didn't get that big fancy $50,000 wedding, we didn't get our college education paid for. My parents did the best they could and we were grateful for it. We learned to work for what we wanted and that sometimes you have to work hard to achieve that goal. We got things we needed for Christmas (trust me, the year our house burned we were really grateful that clothes were wrapped and under the tree). We had to pay for a car if we wanted one and to do that, it meant we needed a job. I started working at 14 and spent my first paycheck on a coveted pair of Guess jeans...and then I realized they were no different then the jeans that I'd been wearing and I never bought another pair. But I wore them until they literally fell apart because I spent my hard earned money on them. It definitely taught me the value of a dollar. I had a beautiful wedding at our church, surrounded by our closest friends and family with a nice reception in the fellowship hall. It was perfect and didn't cost a small fortune. And we are still happily married almost 23 years later and I wouldn't go back and change it if I could.
   Before I lost my job, we were those parents. We gave our kids whatever they wanted for the most part. We had elaborate Christmases and huge birthdays. When Britani was 16 she did get a job and she started buying things for herself with her money. She learned to budget her money, how to balance a checkbook and how to pay bills. These are things school doesn't teach a kid. She's now a 22 year old responsible adult who lives on her own and pays her own bills. She budgets their money, makes menus and grocery lists. She cooks and knows how to keep a house. Things that your average 22 year old child doesn't know how to do today. She works and takes care of herself and I couldn't be more proud of the woman she has become. But we were able to do things for her that we can't do for her sisters. We bought her a car when she turned 16 (3 by the time she was 18 but that's another story lol). We can't afford to do that for the others now. They will be forced to share a car with me.
   We also paid for the things she did like cheer and sports. We haven't been able to do that for them. They've had to learn to work for it. They've babysat, they've cleaned their grandmother's house, they've done whatever they could to earn money for the things they wanted to do. We help where we can but we provide a home and food and some months it's all we can do to do that. They have learned how to make a dollar stretch, they've learned you have to work for things you want. They've had to miss out on things because they needed to work to earn money for something else they wanted. Am I thrilled with this situation? Hell no! They are my babies and I want to give them everything. But reality is that we can't. And though it's been a struggle, I feel like they are better kids for it.
   My kids have never been super bad kids. They've never been disrespectful to adults (only us occasionally but even that's rare). I've always been told how sweet my girls are and what a joy it is to have them from people they were with. My proud mom face shows when people say this. I'd much rather people see that side of my kids rather then the whiney, hormonal teenager that comes out at home somedays. But in the past 2 years since I lost my job, they have become different kids. They no longer expect things and they appreciate the things they do have. I now hear them talk about their friends and how they see that behavior in them. They see that their friends are rude and disrespectful and that they just expect things and if it doesn't happen they throw a fit. My girls are appalled by this behavior. I agree with them.
   If your child demands things of you, then you have a serious problem. If you do everything for them, then how will they survive when they become adults? They need to be taught how to live. Teach them to manage their money. Make them work for it. Demand respect from your children. You're their parent, not their friend. They will get over it. Teach your child to respect others. Teach them the basics of how to tip a server or how to pay a bill. Teach them that there are other people in this world and the world is not going to cater to them. Or don't...and they can live with you forever while you support them because they can't keep a job and can't manage their lives.
   Spend time with your kids so they know how an adult should act. Getting time with them as a teen can seem impossible. Have dinner with no electronics allowed so they are forced to have a conversation with you. If you have more than one kid, spend time with them one on one. I enjoy time with each child alone. They get my undivided attention  and I get theirs. I can't say enough, spend time with your teens. Get to really know them. Don't let life get in the way. Slow down, limit activities, whatever you have to do. My girls are hilarious and fun. I love hearing everything about their day on the way home from school or sitting at dinner and catching up on all that's going on with them and their friends. They are entertaining and make me laugh almost daily. My daughters boyfriend said he never talks to his mom unless it's a necessity and my child was shocked. She said I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to my mom. And I feel the same way about her and her sisters. They are a piece of my heart and I want the best for them always. Money doesn't always buy the things you need. Sometimes the richest kid in school, driving the best car in the lot, is really the loneliest one because his parents buy his love and that's not what he needs. Eventually society will have to deal with your child. Make sure they are ready for it. Show them how to love and respect by example. Being a parent is the hardest but most rewarding job you will ever have. I wouldn't want any other job more.

My mother, my rock, my friend

   I am the mother of 3 girls...that's right THREE GIRLS!!! I am raising 3 younger versions of myself. I don't see how my mother survived raising one of me, much less how I will survive 3. But that being said...I have a few things to say about my mom. I know all of us think our mom is the best (if you don't think your mom is then you should be ashamed, she gave you life...even if she walked away...maybe it was best for you) but seriously my mom has been through hell and comes back out every time with barely any scars. So here's the story of my mom.
   My mother is the third of four daughters. My mother suffered her first big tragedy in life at an early age. Her baby sister Patty Denise (my middle child Ashlee Denise is named after her) died a the age of 3 due to heart problems she had from birth. My mother and her sisters loved that sweet baby and did everything for her and it hurt their hearts to lose her. I can't begin to imagine how my grandparents felt. No parent should have to bury a child. But I know for a fact that may grandparents faith prevailed and they knew God had a plan. Then tragedy stuck again. When my mother was 16, her mother was killed in a bomb explosion at the Louisiana Ammunition plant. How do you survive losing your mother, your first best friend, at the age of 16? I'm 41 and I can't imagine being without mine. But here she was the only child left at home and going through high school without her mom. She became the strong person who made sure things were done. She and my grandfather became very close during this time. They leaned on each other for support to get through a hard time.
   She then married my daddy and had my brother and me (best things that ever happened to her). Her marriage to my daddy wasn't the best. I won't blame it all on him because yes it takes two to make a marriage work. But he was unfaithful many times and wasn't always the nicest person. I don't remember much about those years because I was little. I have a few memories of them together but one of my most vivid memories is the day she had enough and kicked my daddy out. I can't imagine the thoughts of failure that went through her mind. My family is a firm believer that you marry for life. But she had to do what was best for us. So she did what she always does and she stood strong, picked up and moved us to Shreveport. She worked weekdays at a full time job and then worked weekends at the racetrack while we went to our Aunt and Uncle's house. See Daddy didn't pay child support on a regular basis or at all most of the time. So she was a single mom with 2 kids trying to support us by herself. I know for a fact that she went through some dark times during that stage of her life. She was anorexic and depressed but she never let it show to us. She made sure we got the absolute best of her.
   In 1981 she met and married a wonderful man. The man who would become my dad. They got married 5 days after I turned 6 years old. He was a good ole country boy who had 9 brothers and sisters and wasn't afraid to work hard. I inherited a brother at that point too. It wasn't easy for them but they made it work. She no longer had to work 2 jobs and she gave up fighting with my daddy for child support. Over the years of my childhood, my daddy was only a part of my life when it was convenient for him. We were an afterthought. We still are today. But my mother never once said a bad word about him in our presence. He was our daddy and she taught us to love him unconditionally regardless of whether he deserved that love. If he decided he wanted to see us, she let him. She never said "you owe me money so you can't see our kids". She wasn't that person. We weren't a paycheck to her. She knew what he was missing and I think she hoped that one day he would realize it too. I never felt like I was missing out because he wasn't there. My dad was great and loved us and took care of us so I was good.
   In 1986 my grandfather had a massive stroke. My mother spent a lot of time at his bedside. He was a wonderful man and is still greatly missed. After he died I wonder if she thought that she was truly and orphan at that point? Yes she had a wonderful stepmother who we loved until she died a few years ago. But she had lost both of her parents before you expect to. To top off the great year of 1986, on December 23, 1986, our house burned. We lost pretty much everything. Her daddy had always been her rock and he wasn't here to help when this happened. But family stepped in and helped, strangers gave more than we ever expected. We learned that people will be there for you in a tragedy.
   My mother was our rock through all of this. She never let it show to us that she was struggling. She did what had to be done and got us through. She survived mine and my brothers teenage years of trying drugs, high school drop outs and teen pregnancy  (I was 18 but still a teen). No matter what we all knew we could always depend on her and over the years we have depended on her way more than we should.
   My mother was in the delivery room for each of my 3 girls births. She even cut the cord on the 2nd one. But when I had my first child, my mother thought she really liked being on the care giver side of it and decided that for once she was going to do something for herself. She was going to nursing school. Becoming a nurse would mean she would have to quit her job, cash in her retirement and put all of her eggs in one basket. My dad told her that she should follow her heart and that they would get through it. In August 2000, she graduated with the BSN from Northwestern. She worked hard and made it through. She struggled, this I do know. She had always been the rock, but there were times during this adventure that she was sure she would fail. I know it wasn't the first time she felt this way but it was the first time she let it show. She stressed and she worried, but she studied hard and she accomplished what she set out to do.
   She enjoyed taking care of people and she's great at it. She had been a nurse for a couple of years when tragedy struck again. My dad passed out at work. I've never been so scared in my life. I stood in the ambulance bay as they pulled him out of the ambulance and he looked like he had a stroke...the same thing that killed my grandfather. I was scared that we were going to lose him too. It turned out he has a rare autonomic disorder. But during the time he passed out, his brain went without oxygen. We soon realized what we thought was just forgetfulness or due to his illness was actually early onset alzhiemers. In the 14 or so years since then, this horrible disease has slowly eaten away who he is. But through it all, my mother has been strong and been there for him. She does everything for him. Even when he's angry and hateful, she still does what needs to be done, because she loves him. To be the caretaker for a person with this horrible disease is not an easy task. You never know which person you're getting that day and you have to deal with them no matter what. She's tried to be the strong one through all of it but sometimes even Wonder Woman needs help. It's hard for her to ask for help. It's hard for her to admit she can't do it all by herself. He's not an easy person to deal with most days. He's angry that he can't remember things. He gets frustrated easily and is quick to lash out and say hateful things.
   My mother continues to care for him daily with no professional help. She continues to do all of this while working full time. She works, she pays the bills, buys the groceries, cooks the meals, cleans the house and does all of this while taking care of him. She's stronger now than she has ever had to be and she doesn't even realize it. It takes a strong person to let your shield down and ask for help. It also takes a strong person to work so hard and love so much. She's willing to sacrifice everything for the people she loves. She's my hero, my best friend, my rock. I couldn't do life without her.

**side note: I call my biological father Daddy and my "step-dad" Dad. I put "step-dad" in quotes because I never call him that. He's my dad in every sense of the word so he's my dad. But hopefully this helps distinguish which one I'm talking about. 😊

Where were you?

   Today is a day in American history that we remember the events that happened on September 11, 2001. It's a day of tragedy and heroism that was felt across our country. Everyone who was alive at the time says...where were you on that day 15 years ago? Alan Jackson wrote a song that asks "Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day". 
  So where was I? I was at home snuggled in bed with my 18 month old and my 4 day old babies. My 7 year old was at school and my husband was at work. My sister in law called to tell me what was happening. I turned on the tv and sat and cried as I watched the events unfold on national television. At that moment I realized that I was scared for the safety of my children. The world that they would grow up in had just changed. This was the first strike on American soil since Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. Life in the US would never be the same.
   I watched as the media announced that our president would be addressing the country soon, live from Barksdale Airforce Base in Bossier City, Louisiana. At that point I was terrified for everyone I loved because we didn't know if the terrorists were aiming for our president and they had just put a target on us in the Shreveport Bossier area. A friend checked my oldest out of school and brought her home to me. I just wanted to hold my babies close to me. To do everything I could to protect them.
   As they days went by, the story started to unfold. The heroes that took over a plane and chose to crash the plane and take their lives instead of allowing the terrorists to kill more people. The first responders that ran head first into buildings that were on fire and lost their lives trying to save others. Doing what they did every day. Children lost mothers and fathers. Mothers and fathers lost children. Our country and these families, most of all, suffered a terrible tragedy that day.
   That day became a day that would be taught in American History in high school forever. Most of the high school freshman this year are the first to be taught about this day but weren't alive for it. They didn't personally live through that day. I have a freshman this year and she was alive. She was 4 days old. She still had the new baby smell. I have so many thoughts about that. See she was due on September 29 but because of circumstances I was scheduled for induction 2 weeks early...on September 11, 2001. Yes, I was scheduled to give birth on the day that rocked America. Of course she had other plans and decided to come on her own almost 3 weeks early on September 7. My baby was here and the days after her birth were filled with  happiness that our little family was complete. But it soon turned to fear of what would happen to our country and how it would affect my children's lives.
   Because of that day 15 years ago, so much has changed. We no longer trust. We no longer welcome others into our country with open arms. We no longer believe whole heartedly that we are safe on American soil. While taking the lives of so many innocent people, they took away our comfort.  Since that time so many soldiers have lost their lives fighting to restore that sense of comfort. The time they spend away from their families, fighting for our freedom, is time they can never get back. Moments they will miss that can never happen again. So today, as you sit back and remember where you were and how you felt on that day 15 years ago, remember those who lost their lives that day and those who have lost their lives since then fighting for us. Pray for them and their families. And pray for those who continue to fight each day. As the words of our national anthem say "our flag was still there"  and it's still there today.

Enjoy It While It Lasts

   My baby girl turned 15 this past week. This means she's now old enough to get her permit to drive. She's almost old enough to get a job. She's old enough to date. She's growing up....way too fast.
   This one is my mini me. I apologize to my mother because I'm now raising me. I'm getting payback for all the things I did as a kid. She's hard headed, bratty, whiney and wears her feelings on her shoulder. But she's also kind hearted, smart, a great friend and beautiful inside and out. She has celebrated her birthday month by being asked to her first high school homecoming dance, playing volleyball, cheering in pep squad at football games and spent her actual birthday at church. Who could ask for more?
   This is the first year she chose not to have a birthday party. I was relieved because it meant I didn't have to plan anything but I was also sad. I mean she's my baby. Am I done having birthday parties for my kids? Are my years as the party mom over? I've said before that I would look forward to the day that they are grown. But as that time is drawing closer, I'm beginning to think I won't be as ok with it as I thought.
   So instead of a party she chose to have a "dinner" with 15 of her friends at a local restaurant. The hubs and I sat at a table in the other room but close enough to keep an eye on them. Afterwards 2 of her best friends came home with us. They played 1D and 5SOS as loud as they could in the car, singing at the top of their lungs. Laughing and joking with us and with each other the whole way home. They giggled and talked about everyone and everything thing. As I laughed and listened, I realized that sadly, these days would soon be coming to an end. The days of a house full of wild and crazy girls making noise and singing along with their favorite bands, painting each other's nails, doing each other's hair and makeup...these days will be over before I know it. So I soaked up every minute of it while it's here.
   For 20 plus years now I've had these moments. We've had as many as 15-20 giggling little girls stay the night at one time. From one daughter to the next, we've passed through these stages. With the older girls I've had the moments of realizing that I had hit the last of firsts with them and each one made me sad but I knew I still had my baby left to go through it with. Now as she's hitting the last of the firsts...I'm getting really sad. She started her first day of high school this year and soon she will attend her first formal high school dance. If I'm not careful I will blink and she will be attending her senior prom. But until then I've decided to cherish the time I have left with the 2 still at home and enjoy the last firsts I have with each of them as they go through high school. And then we will move on to the firsts of adulthood. First real job, first college graduation, marriage, babies...it will all be here before I know it. So mommas hold your babies close because you'll blink and they will be a freshman in high school and won't think they need you anymore. Although I'm here to admit, I'm 41 years old and I still need my momma every day of my life.

Curfew

   As your kids reach that age of riding in a car with other teens driving or driving themselves, the battle of a curfew occurs. Did you have a set time to be home when you were a kid? Did it change as you got closer to graduation? Do you have those same rules for your children? I honestly don't really remember having a set curfew as a teen. I started working when I was 14 and would work most Friday and Saturday nights so I stayed out a little later to hang out with friends after work. If someone else was driving, my curfew was generally based around theirs. I think my parents were tired by the time I hit my teen years so as long as they knew where I was they were ok. And this was long before the time of cellphones. So I've decided with our kids, it's situational and dependant upon the child and their behavior.
   When Britani hit this age, we decided not to give her a curfew. We decided that what time she had to be home would be based on where she was and who she was with. She never pushed the limits and most times was home before we told her to be because she worked as a Barista at Starbucks and had to be at work stupid early on weekends. I'm not saying she was perfect because she was far from it but it was one limit she chose not to push. Don't worry there were other limits she pushed to the point of breaking. :)
   Ashlee has been at this point for a couple of years now. We decided it worked with one so we would try it with the next child and see how it goes (Britani was our trial and error child...we made mistakes and learned from them with her). At this point Ashlee pretty much says hey I'm going here and I'll be home at this time. If I think that time is reasonable then we move on. If I don't, I find myself negotiating with her. Why do I do this? I'm the mom, she's the kid...end of story right? It's not always that easy. Sometimes she has a reason for wanting a different time and I'll concede. But for the most part she has to come around to my way of thinking. And none of them have yet to figure out if they asked their dad they would probably get a better answer. Now for the most part she hasn't pushed her limits. She's home when we tell her and is pretty good at updating us if her location changes.
   Then we have Kaylea...the baby. The battle of time to be home has just begun with her this past summer. She is in high school now so she thinks she can go and do whatever her friends are doing until whatever time. No ma'am. Not happening. This is going to be the child who changes all of the rules. She is going to be the one that I'm going to end up setting a flat time to be home and she will be late. I can see it in my future already.  
    She is my social butterfly. The others always had a small group of friends and didn't stray too much outside of that group. Not this one. Her "group" was large in middle school and has only grown now in high school. So there is always something going on with one of the group and heaven forbid she miss out. She may become a social outcast if this happens. Ummm no. You'll be ok. School started 3 weeks ago and her social calendar is packed with things to do. Between pep squad for football games and playing volleyball, she has a full calendar to begin with. Then you add this child's birthday or that child having a get together at their house to hang out and it ends up with something every single day. I don't think she's been home before 9pm a single night this week.
   Where do I draw the line? Do I let her keep burning the candle at both ends until her grades suffer or she gets burned out? I honestly don't know. Games are mandatory so I don't see that changing until the spring. But I think our social calendar is about to come to a screeching hault. I see a set curfew in our near future for the first time in 3 kids.
   So when your younger child complains "but you let older sibling" or your older child says "well you never let me", just remember that each child is different and sometimes the rules don't apply to everyone. And if anyone wants an overly dramatic social butterfly 14 year old...please let me know. I may be willing to give her away in a few weeks.

Sibling Rivalry

   The tale of sibling rivalry goes all the way back to the beginning with Cain and Abel. And let's not forget Cinderella and her ugly stepsisters. Even the perfect Bradys had it...Marcia Marcia Marcia.  I grew up with 2 older brothers. One biological and one step (we were raised as one family so I don't really consider him a step brother, he's just my brother). I was the only girl and the baby so I know 100% things were different for me. I didn't have a sister I was forced to share anything with. Everything I got was mine. My brothers wanted nothing to do with it. I, on the other hand, wanted all of their stuff. Haha I was a brat. By the time I was a teenager, they were grown and out of the house. I lived my teenage years as the only child. It was glorious.
   My children do not have the same luxuries. Three girls means nothing is solely yours. You share everything even if you don't know it. Britani was a teen all by herself. We struggled but we survived her teens without too much drama or any major life altering events. She was a great big sister from day one and never had much of a rivalry with her littles. She never really complained when they were in her room (she always had her own room while they shared...perks of being the oldest) or in her stuff. She just accepted it as part of being the oldest. She still does. She and her boyfriend have a 3 bedroom home and her sisters claimed the 2 spare rooms as theirs. Hence Cody has been forced to accept them too. Poor kid.
   Ashlee and Kaylea...rivalry since day one! With there only being 18 months between them, they've been forced to share everything from the beginning. We literally kicked Ashlee out of her crib to move Kaylea in. They shared a room until Britani moved out 3 years ago. We have picture after picture of the 2 together. Lots show them being partners in crime but some show the battle of siblings. For the most part they got along until...yep...the teenage years hit!!!
  Now every day can be a battle. For 12 years they were best buds and shared everything. Now they fight over everything. Why are you wearing my clothes, why are you listening to the same music as me, why are you watching the same tv show as me, why are you in my room, it's your turn to clean the bathroom or do dishes...it never ends. At one point when they were smaller, one of them seriously complained to us that her sister was looking out her window of the car. I mean really??!! It's not even your window, it's mine!!! My car, my window!
  Why must everything be a battle in our house? Why does it matter that she's wearing your shorts if last week you were wearing her shirt? (Side note: as i wrote this today, I had no idea that the one child who really complains about her younger sister taking her clothes....was wearing said younger sisters shorts without her knowing)  Being 2 years apart in school has managed to help us keep the whole friend battle from happening. But now that they are in high school, I see this changing. I'm sure we are headed down the road of liking the same boy or having a mutual friend to fight over. I dread this day.
   But all of this being said...what can we do to help with this endless battle between brothers and sisters? I've seen some funny ideas like the t-shirt they both have to wear "the get along shirt". Of course you can try to calmly talk to your kids when the battle occurs, but who does this? I end up screaming at them as much as they scream at each other and none of us win. Do we let them fight it out? My husband grew up as the middle child of 3 boys. They would literally fight it out. Beat each other up and then move on. Thankfully my children do not hit each other.
   Honestly my brother Bart was my first best friend. I grew to love Darren just the same. We fight and we disagree on things even now as adults but I know that any day, any hour, I could call them and they would be there for me and me for them. This is what I want for my girls. They were each others first friends and it's a friendship that should last a lifetime. I want them to always be there for each other, to defend and support each other. The only way I know how to make that happen, is to remind them daily and repeat myself over and over to be nice to each other. Who knows...your sister may end up being the one who chooses your nursing home. 😂😂

Raising Teenagers

   Raising kids period is the most rewarding but hardest job we will ever be blessed with. There are some days that I question my blessings. I mean really, what parent doesn't? If you say you haven't then you're either lying or you're a glutton for punishment. There are days where I totally get where animals eat their young. I have 3 beautiful blessings and most days I wouldn't trade them for the world.
   My girls are 22, 16 and 14 (15 in 8 days) so I've been battling the teenage years for quite a while now and still have several more to go. Over the last 22 years as a mom I've watched my girls go through many "friends". I will say things are different from when I was a kid so I understand their struggles are different than mine were.
   When I was a kid, we didn't have the world at our fingertips and social media didn't exist. So if something happened we didn't know about it until the next school day most of the time. Kids today know instantly if they were left out of something or if someone is talking about them behind their backs. And girls....girls are horrible these days. It's gotten worse from when my oldest was a teen to now with my youngest. Girls are vindictive and cruel. Trust me, with 3 girls, we've been on the giving and receiving end of this behavior over the years. But how do you deal with that?
   Honestly it's a case by case situation. Over the years we've always tried to tell our kids to be the kind of friend you want to have. If you treat people rudely, it's going to come back to you.  This is for life in general. But sometimes they can be the best friend to someone and get nothing in return. I know, I've had those friendships even into adulthood. It's hard when your child is on the receiving end of that behavior.
   You teach your kids that if they are a good friend then good things will happen. Yeah...not always. What do you do when that person your child thinks is their "friend" keeps excluding them from things? Do you talk to the parent or the child? Or do you just tell your child to ignore it? Or do you ignore it all together?
   Personally...I usually encourage my kids to speak up for themselves and ask the friend what's going on. Sometimes they don't realize they are doing it and will change. Sometimes it's just that the friendship has run its course and it's time to move on. I will say, I try to stay out of my kids friend drama unless I feel they are really getting hurt emotionally or that they are in danger. There have been many times with all 3 girls that I've said it's time to severe that friendship and move on. I don't tolerate the mean girls attitude from my children or their friends.
   I'm not the mom who calls other moms and says "do you know what your kid said or did?" And I honestly can't stand the moms that do that. You have to let your kids fight their own battles for the most part. You're not always going to be there to handle it for them. We are raising a generation of kids who can't depend on themselves for anything. If you think that a particular child is really hurting your child, tell them to move on. They will make new friends and hopefully better friends. Sometimes friendships are one sided and it's just not worth it.
   There are friendships that last a lifetime and you stay together from childhood to adulthood, your kids are friends, your spouses become friends . There are the ones where you drift apart, go to different colleges, get married, have kids and drift back together. Then there are the ones that only last for a season. But you learn from those friendships. It's hard as the parent to sit back and see your kids hurt but sometimes you have to let them go through it and come out stronger.