Raising Teenagers

   Raising kids period is the most rewarding but hardest job we will ever be blessed with. There are some days that I question my blessings. I mean really, what parent doesn't? If you say you haven't then you're either lying or you're a glutton for punishment. There are days where I totally get where animals eat their young. I have 3 beautiful blessings and most days I wouldn't trade them for the world.
   My girls are 22, 16 and 14 (15 in 8 days) so I've been battling the teenage years for quite a while now and still have several more to go. Over the last 22 years as a mom I've watched my girls go through many "friends". I will say things are different from when I was a kid so I understand their struggles are different than mine were.
   When I was a kid, we didn't have the world at our fingertips and social media didn't exist. So if something happened we didn't know about it until the next school day most of the time. Kids today know instantly if they were left out of something or if someone is talking about them behind their backs. And girls....girls are horrible these days. It's gotten worse from when my oldest was a teen to now with my youngest. Girls are vindictive and cruel. Trust me, with 3 girls, we've been on the giving and receiving end of this behavior over the years. But how do you deal with that?
   Honestly it's a case by case situation. Over the years we've always tried to tell our kids to be the kind of friend you want to have. If you treat people rudely, it's going to come back to you.  This is for life in general. But sometimes they can be the best friend to someone and get nothing in return. I know, I've had those friendships even into adulthood. It's hard when your child is on the receiving end of that behavior.
   You teach your kids that if they are a good friend then good things will happen. Yeah...not always. What do you do when that person your child thinks is their "friend" keeps excluding them from things? Do you talk to the parent or the child? Or do you just tell your child to ignore it? Or do you ignore it all together?
   Personally...I usually encourage my kids to speak up for themselves and ask the friend what's going on. Sometimes they don't realize they are doing it and will change. Sometimes it's just that the friendship has run its course and it's time to move on. I will say, I try to stay out of my kids friend drama unless I feel they are really getting hurt emotionally or that they are in danger. There have been many times with all 3 girls that I've said it's time to severe that friendship and move on. I don't tolerate the mean girls attitude from my children or their friends.
   I'm not the mom who calls other moms and says "do you know what your kid said or did?" And I honestly can't stand the moms that do that. You have to let your kids fight their own battles for the most part. You're not always going to be there to handle it for them. We are raising a generation of kids who can't depend on themselves for anything. If you think that a particular child is really hurting your child, tell them to move on. They will make new friends and hopefully better friends. Sometimes friendships are one sided and it's just not worth it.
   There are friendships that last a lifetime and you stay together from childhood to adulthood, your kids are friends, your spouses become friends . There are the ones where you drift apart, go to different colleges, get married, have kids and drift back together. Then there are the ones that only last for a season. But you learn from those friendships. It's hard as the parent to sit back and see your kids hurt but sometimes you have to let them go through it and come out stronger.