Sibling Rivalry

   The tale of sibling rivalry goes all the way back to the beginning with Cain and Abel. And let's not forget Cinderella and her ugly stepsisters. Even the perfect Bradys had it...Marcia Marcia Marcia.  I grew up with 2 older brothers. One biological and one step (we were raised as one family so I don't really consider him a step brother, he's just my brother). I was the only girl and the baby so I know 100% things were different for me. I didn't have a sister I was forced to share anything with. Everything I got was mine. My brothers wanted nothing to do with it. I, on the other hand, wanted all of their stuff. Haha I was a brat. By the time I was a teenager, they were grown and out of the house. I lived my teenage years as the only child. It was glorious.
   My children do not have the same luxuries. Three girls means nothing is solely yours. You share everything even if you don't know it. Britani was a teen all by herself. We struggled but we survived her teens without too much drama or any major life altering events. She was a great big sister from day one and never had much of a rivalry with her littles. She never really complained when they were in her room (she always had her own room while they shared...perks of being the oldest) or in her stuff. She just accepted it as part of being the oldest. She still does. She and her boyfriend have a 3 bedroom home and her sisters claimed the 2 spare rooms as theirs. Hence Cody has been forced to accept them too. Poor kid.
   Ashlee and Kaylea...rivalry since day one! With there only being 18 months between them, they've been forced to share everything from the beginning. We literally kicked Ashlee out of her crib to move Kaylea in. They shared a room until Britani moved out 3 years ago. We have picture after picture of the 2 together. Lots show them being partners in crime but some show the battle of siblings. For the most part they got along until...yep...the teenage years hit!!!
  Now every day can be a battle. For 12 years they were best buds and shared everything. Now they fight over everything. Why are you wearing my clothes, why are you listening to the same music as me, why are you watching the same tv show as me, why are you in my room, it's your turn to clean the bathroom or do dishes...it never ends. At one point when they were smaller, one of them seriously complained to us that her sister was looking out her window of the car. I mean really??!! It's not even your window, it's mine!!! My car, my window!
  Why must everything be a battle in our house? Why does it matter that she's wearing your shorts if last week you were wearing her shirt? (Side note: as i wrote this today, I had no idea that the one child who really complains about her younger sister taking her clothes....was wearing said younger sisters shorts without her knowing)  Being 2 years apart in school has managed to help us keep the whole friend battle from happening. But now that they are in high school, I see this changing. I'm sure we are headed down the road of liking the same boy or having a mutual friend to fight over. I dread this day.
   But all of this being said...what can we do to help with this endless battle between brothers and sisters? I've seen some funny ideas like the t-shirt they both have to wear "the get along shirt". Of course you can try to calmly talk to your kids when the battle occurs, but who does this? I end up screaming at them as much as they scream at each other and none of us win. Do we let them fight it out? My husband grew up as the middle child of 3 boys. They would literally fight it out. Beat each other up and then move on. Thankfully my children do not hit each other.
   Honestly my brother Bart was my first best friend. I grew to love Darren just the same. We fight and we disagree on things even now as adults but I know that any day, any hour, I could call them and they would be there for me and me for them. This is what I want for my girls. They were each others first friends and it's a friendship that should last a lifetime. I want them to always be there for each other, to defend and support each other. The only way I know how to make that happen, is to remind them daily and repeat myself over and over to be nice to each other. Who knows...your sister may end up being the one who chooses your nursing home. 😂😂