Curfew

   As your kids reach that age of riding in a car with other teens driving or driving themselves, the battle of a curfew occurs. Did you have a set time to be home when you were a kid? Did it change as you got closer to graduation? Do you have those same rules for your children? I honestly don't really remember having a set curfew as a teen. I started working when I was 14 and would work most Friday and Saturday nights so I stayed out a little later to hang out with friends after work. If someone else was driving, my curfew was generally based around theirs. I think my parents were tired by the time I hit my teen years so as long as they knew where I was they were ok. And this was long before the time of cellphones. So I've decided with our kids, it's situational and dependant upon the child and their behavior.
   When Britani hit this age, we decided not to give her a curfew. We decided that what time she had to be home would be based on where she was and who she was with. She never pushed the limits and most times was home before we told her to be because she worked as a Barista at Starbucks and had to be at work stupid early on weekends. I'm not saying she was perfect because she was far from it but it was one limit she chose not to push. Don't worry there were other limits she pushed to the point of breaking. :)
   Ashlee has been at this point for a couple of years now. We decided it worked with one so we would try it with the next child and see how it goes (Britani was our trial and error child...we made mistakes and learned from them with her). At this point Ashlee pretty much says hey I'm going here and I'll be home at this time. If I think that time is reasonable then we move on. If I don't, I find myself negotiating with her. Why do I do this? I'm the mom, she's the kid...end of story right? It's not always that easy. Sometimes she has a reason for wanting a different time and I'll concede. But for the most part she has to come around to my way of thinking. And none of them have yet to figure out if they asked their dad they would probably get a better answer. Now for the most part she hasn't pushed her limits. She's home when we tell her and is pretty good at updating us if her location changes.
   Then we have Kaylea...the baby. The battle of time to be home has just begun with her this past summer. She is in high school now so she thinks she can go and do whatever her friends are doing until whatever time. No ma'am. Not happening. This is going to be the child who changes all of the rules. She is going to be the one that I'm going to end up setting a flat time to be home and she will be late. I can see it in my future already.  
    She is my social butterfly. The others always had a small group of friends and didn't stray too much outside of that group. Not this one. Her "group" was large in middle school and has only grown now in high school. So there is always something going on with one of the group and heaven forbid she miss out. She may become a social outcast if this happens. Ummm no. You'll be ok. School started 3 weeks ago and her social calendar is packed with things to do. Between pep squad for football games and playing volleyball, she has a full calendar to begin with. Then you add this child's birthday or that child having a get together at their house to hang out and it ends up with something every single day. I don't think she's been home before 9pm a single night this week.
   Where do I draw the line? Do I let her keep burning the candle at both ends until her grades suffer or she gets burned out? I honestly don't know. Games are mandatory so I don't see that changing until the spring. But I think our social calendar is about to come to a screeching hault. I see a set curfew in our near future for the first time in 3 kids.
   So when your younger child complains "but you let older sibling" or your older child says "well you never let me", just remember that each child is different and sometimes the rules don't apply to everyone. And if anyone wants an overly dramatic social butterfly 14 year old...please let me know. I may be willing to give her away in a few weeks.