Soon they will be adults. Are they prepared for it?

   What happened to the parents of this generation of kids that made us think it was ok to raise our kids to have that sense of entitlement? They expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter and for parents to be at their beck and call. We've raised a generation of selfish brats. I don't understand this mentality. Kids today think they aren't expected to work for anything. Reality television has glorified this behavior and they expect that same treatment. Sorry but my kids are screwed then.
   I wasn't raised in a family with a lot of money. My parents worked hard to provide us with everything we needed. We always had a home, we always had food and we always had clothes. No, we didn't have designer clothes, we didn't live in a huge expensive house and we didn't eat expensively or eat out alot. But we had one thing going for us that I don't think some of those other kids had...we had the love of a family. We had family dinner every night where we were expected to eat what was put in front of us. We had help with our homework with love and attention. We each had our outside activities but never an over abundance that kept us busy every day of the week. We had down time and time to play outside with our friends. Where did this go?
   We didn't get everything on our Christmas want list, we didn't get that brand new car when we turned 16, we didn't get that big fancy $50,000 wedding, we didn't get our college education paid for. My parents did the best they could and we were grateful for it. We learned to work for what we wanted and that sometimes you have to work hard to achieve that goal. We got things we needed for Christmas (trust me, the year our house burned we were really grateful that clothes were wrapped and under the tree). We had to pay for a car if we wanted one and to do that, it meant we needed a job. I started working at 14 and spent my first paycheck on a coveted pair of Guess jeans...and then I realized they were no different then the jeans that I'd been wearing and I never bought another pair. But I wore them until they literally fell apart because I spent my hard earned money on them. It definitely taught me the value of a dollar. I had a beautiful wedding at our church, surrounded by our closest friends and family with a nice reception in the fellowship hall. It was perfect and didn't cost a small fortune. And we are still happily married almost 23 years later and I wouldn't go back and change it if I could.
   Before I lost my job, we were those parents. We gave our kids whatever they wanted for the most part. We had elaborate Christmases and huge birthdays. When Britani was 16 she did get a job and she started buying things for herself with her money. She learned to budget her money, how to balance a checkbook and how to pay bills. These are things school doesn't teach a kid. She's now a 22 year old responsible adult who lives on her own and pays her own bills. She budgets their money, makes menus and grocery lists. She cooks and knows how to keep a house. Things that your average 22 year old child doesn't know how to do today. She works and takes care of herself and I couldn't be more proud of the woman she has become. But we were able to do things for her that we can't do for her sisters. We bought her a car when she turned 16 (3 by the time she was 18 but that's another story lol). We can't afford to do that for the others now. They will be forced to share a car with me.
   We also paid for the things she did like cheer and sports. We haven't been able to do that for them. They've had to learn to work for it. They've babysat, they've cleaned their grandmother's house, they've done whatever they could to earn money for the things they wanted to do. We help where we can but we provide a home and food and some months it's all we can do to do that. They have learned how to make a dollar stretch, they've learned you have to work for things you want. They've had to miss out on things because they needed to work to earn money for something else they wanted. Am I thrilled with this situation? Hell no! They are my babies and I want to give them everything. But reality is that we can't. And though it's been a struggle, I feel like they are better kids for it.
   My kids have never been super bad kids. They've never been disrespectful to adults (only us occasionally but even that's rare). I've always been told how sweet my girls are and what a joy it is to have them from people they were with. My proud mom face shows when people say this. I'd much rather people see that side of my kids rather then the whiney, hormonal teenager that comes out at home somedays. But in the past 2 years since I lost my job, they have become different kids. They no longer expect things and they appreciate the things they do have. I now hear them talk about their friends and how they see that behavior in them. They see that their friends are rude and disrespectful and that they just expect things and if it doesn't happen they throw a fit. My girls are appalled by this behavior. I agree with them.
   If your child demands things of you, then you have a serious problem. If you do everything for them, then how will they survive when they become adults? They need to be taught how to live. Teach them to manage their money. Make them work for it. Demand respect from your children. You're their parent, not their friend. They will get over it. Teach your child to respect others. Teach them the basics of how to tip a server or how to pay a bill. Teach them that there are other people in this world and the world is not going to cater to them. Or don't...and they can live with you forever while you support them because they can't keep a job and can't manage their lives.
   Spend time with your kids so they know how an adult should act. Getting time with them as a teen can seem impossible. Have dinner with no electronics allowed so they are forced to have a conversation with you. If you have more than one kid, spend time with them one on one. I enjoy time with each child alone. They get my undivided attention  and I get theirs. I can't say enough, spend time with your teens. Get to really know them. Don't let life get in the way. Slow down, limit activities, whatever you have to do. My girls are hilarious and fun. I love hearing everything about their day on the way home from school or sitting at dinner and catching up on all that's going on with them and their friends. They are entertaining and make me laugh almost daily. My daughters boyfriend said he never talks to his mom unless it's a necessity and my child was shocked. She said I don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to my mom. And I feel the same way about her and her sisters. They are a piece of my heart and I want the best for them always. Money doesn't always buy the things you need. Sometimes the richest kid in school, driving the best car in the lot, is really the loneliest one because his parents buy his love and that's not what he needs. Eventually society will have to deal with your child. Make sure they are ready for it. Show them how to love and respect by example. Being a parent is the hardest but most rewarding job you will ever have. I wouldn't want any other job more.